So I log onto twitter and I see an article by Cosmopolitan RT’d into my timeline entitled “The Most Dangerous Time of Year”. This article lists ways for a young woman on a college campus to avoid being raped. 0.o..
I am sooooo sick of articles telling women how to avoid being raped and not taking to task the people who perpetrate the fucking crime. We have to police ourselves, walk on eggshells, but they get a pass to continue to behave like rabid, sex obsessed dogs? How about an article with tips on how a man can act like a damn man. You know what, let me start….
1. When you see a woman walking across the college campus, don’t assume she wants or needs your penis anywhere near her. Continue in the direction you’re going and leave her in peace. The first thought in your mind shouldn’t be where you can drag her to in order to sexually assault her.
2. You see a woman at a party who’s had a little too much to drink don’t decide “Hey I’m going to take advantage of this situation by helping her to the backseat of my car or to a random bedroom.” How about you stay on the other side of the room? Better yet, act like a gentleman and make sure that she’s okay. A lot of you have sisters, mothers, women you care about in your life, so think about them before you act. If you see another “man” trying to take advantage of an intoxicated woman, step in and make sure that nothing happens to her. Try a little chivalry.
3. Stop earning the trust of women with the sole intent of taking advantage of that trust and violating them once they feel comfortable being in your presence alone.
4. Stop dropping date rape drugs in women’s drinks. If you have to drug someone to get them to have sex with them, you might need to reevaluate your whole existence. And get some help. Talk to a therapist about why you feel so inferior as a man that you have to empower yourself by taking away someone else’s power and safety.
5. When a woman says no, SHE MEANS NO. If a woman is too intoxicated to say no, THAT DOESN’T MEAN AN AUTOMATIC YES. If a woman is passed out, THAT DOESN’T MEAN OPEN FOR BUSINESS.
6. If she changes her mind about having sex with you, respect that change and BACK OFF. It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone, the moment she says stop…STOP!
7. If a woman agrees to go on a date with you and you pay, that doesn’t mean that you’ve paid for sex afterwards. That means you bought a steak and salad…nothing more and nothing less. You are not entitled to any part of her unless she decides you are.
8. Don’t use your supposed intoxication as an excuse for why you decided to force yourself on someone.
9. A woman’s choice of clothing is not in invitation to rape. How she dresses is not an indication of anything or an invitation for you. SHE IS NOT ASKING YOU OR ANY OTHER MAN FOR A DAMN THING.
10. If she says no, she is not playing hard to get and it doesn’t mean you should be more aggressive.
What the writers of these kinds of articles fail to understand or just refuse to acknowledge is women can follow every rule listed in their piece and they can still be raped. The problem isn’t in the woman’s behavior, it’s in the behavior of the person who is committing the rape. How about focusing on them for a change and not continually telling women that they are the ones that need to fix/police their behavior?